Ice Skating Training for the Olympic Trials

Here is a funny video of my intense ice skating training today. Graceful like a gazelle I am! 

A Poem on NPR

The other day I got in the car and started to drive. I turned on the radio and heard myself talking, and for a brief moment was confused as to where and when I was. A poem I’d recorded years ago was speaking to me through the speakers. So long ago there is even a reference to the show Jersey Shore. Feel free to give a read below, but if you’d like to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth, visit the Lake Effect website.

 

Everything is Arbitrary

 

You can’t debate with memory

or slow dance a regret

The music of my youth
will always mean more
than the music of yours

How does the insect population hope to support
the spider population in my garage?

The ape I am derived from is no more superior
than the ape you are derived from

Wearing a condom is called Presponsible
New Jersey is a Napoleonic abortion of style

The path of least resistance is
the path of least remembrance

Spend too long waiting
for the bigger shinier next better option and
they all fizzle to a firecracker dud

Never wait for a white-haired
limping mall security guard
to make you feel secure